It was great to get out of the house together, enjoy a movie, eat theatre junk food, enjoy an adult beverage (yes, our theatre serves alcohol and it's amazing), and even have time for dessert afterwards. I may have even turned my phone on silent for the entire movie, although I did check it once. Maybe twice. I never once felt panicked that we needed to rush home, knowing that Sully was in great hands.
Anyway, after we got home that night and while I was laying in bed, I started thinking about a conversation I had had the other day while at a playdate with two of my good friends and their kiddos. We had gotten on the topic of babysitters, when one of my friends asked if we could ever imagine letting a 13 or 14 year old babysit our own child as that is around the age we all started babysitting (actually, I was even younger than that). The consensus was mutual - there's no way we would let a young teen babysit. Now that we're moms ourselves, it seems crazy to think that we used to be trusted to watch young children - even babies! - when we had barely even hit puberty! And we were hired by families that we didn't even really know that well. I used to canvas the surrounding neighbourhoods, handing out babysitting fliers and that is how I got the majority of my baby-watching gigs. It's kind of crazy to think about.
We decided that moms must have been way more trustful 20 years ago. Or perhaps there were less distractions for teens back then - no smart phones, no internet (barely), no social media. I think, for me, it's the distractions of today's world that scares me when I think about letting someone I don't know that well or fully trust, to babysit my baby. (On a side note, our own moms were pretty trustful too, letting us go into strangers homes alone for a few hours in the evening).
The fact of the matter is, there's very few people that I feel comfortable leaving Sully with for more than 20 minutes at a time: his dad and my mom (my in-laws, but none of them live in the same city…). And even then, I'm sure to have my cell phone with me at all times, and my own car (no car-pooling for this mom).
Do I feel this way because I'm a first time mom and my son is still so young? Will my feelings on this change as Sully gets older and I get more desperate to get out with my husband for alone time? What if my mom didn't live close by, would we never get a babysitter down the road? I think about these types of questions all the time, but I can't imagine ever feeling comfortable leaving Sully, at least not until he is able to talk on his own. Or is it a change in the times? With all the scary stuff out in the media today, are the times of hiring a babysitter from a friendly poster on your mailbox gone?
For you moms (and dads) out there - do you hire babysitters for your kiddos? (Day care/day homes aside). What age were your babies when you felt comfortable enough to do this? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
I forgot you were by the fancy theatre ahaha, I have to go there once just to try it! :) I'm glad you and Jim enjoyed yourself though, the Tutti Frutti looks yummy.
ReplyDeleteBabysitter all the way, it's like freedom! Helps kids as they get older know that it's ok to have someone else look after them too! If we didn't hire a sitter, we would never go out since our families all live outside of town (4hours of travel each family!) Maggie is STOKED when we have our sitter come and can't kick us out fast enough....great role model for Maggie and I secretly think she loves having an "older" friend :)
ReplyDeleteHaha - we used to love having babysitters come over too when we were young! I forgot that part of it. And you're right, I do think it's important for our children to learn that sometimes someone else has to look after them. I hope we get to a point where we feel comfortable using a babysitter. I think I'm just scared of teenagers nowadays!
Deleteoh, and our first outing was when Maggie was 4 months old....and our sitter was 14 at the time. Maybe it was too young for both of them but I was desperate to get out :P
ReplyDeleteMy baby is three months and I've only left him with our moms. There are a few friends I'd leave him with, but they're all very reliable, trustworthy people. I'm getting ready to leave him at daycare as I go back to work soon and am pretty torn up about the whole thing. I do have a few students that just graduated that I would consider having babysit in a few years- once he's potty trained. Then it's a big if, because we have a pool and that makes me nervous. Maybe that's it- maybe as a society we're just more nervous now!
ReplyDeleteI bet you're torn up - I would be too if I had to think about putting Sully in daycare at this age :( Having a pool in our backyard would make me super nervous as well - and yes, maybe we're just a much more uptight society nowadays! But maybe we have more reason to be…life seemed simpler when we were kids.
DeleteI'm the same way as you -- I could never leave Lucas with a teen babysitter. Not right now. If we have somewhere to go, I have a few trusted people I'll leave him with, or if I have an errand or appointment, I have lots of mom friends who could take him for a little bit. Moms really must have been more trusting. I remember babysitting back in the day ... I can't say I felt comfortable around a baby back then! And you're right -- there are so many more distractions these days!
ReplyDeleteI think if I was in a real bind, I have a few friends I would feel comfortable asking to watch Sully, but not just for a night out with Jim.
DeleteThis is a tough one, and I would have to say I'm on the same page as you! Life seemed much simpler back when we were growing up, and for the most part, our babysitters (besides grandparents, of course) were extended family members (my mom's cousins). Hard to say if mine and my husband's feelings on this will change, but time will tell I guess :)
ReplyDeleteLife DID seem much simpler back then. We used to love having a babysitter when we were growing up, so I hope I can get to a point where I too feel comfortable leaving Sully with a babysitter. Even if it's just for really short periods of time.
Delete